Mother's Day 2013

I always feel silly making grand proclamations.  I tend to shy away from saying "I always" or "I will never".  Because someday I just might and I have felt what it tastes like to take those words back.  I am not a very definitive person and don't really take hard stances on much.  I try to see both sides.  I like to say I am reasonable. But the more Mothering I have been doing (all whooping 9 years of it) I can say a few things with utmost certainty. 

 

I will do ANYTHING to protect my girls.

Knowing they are NEAR me brings me joy.

I will NEVER stop loving them. 

They are my WORLD.

 

I want so much for them.  I like that they do well in school and they are kind.  I love that they care for each other and each one of our family members.  I know they are good at dance, and singing, and piano, and sports, and reading...I AM SO PROUD OF THEM.

 

I was spoiled this Mother's Day.  My girls took the time to really show me how much they love me and it was so special. 

 

 

 

I am the luckiest Mom.

Happy 2013!!

Happy New Year.

It took me a few days but I knew I could come up with something new for 2013.  There was no way I was going to go a through January without some focus!  So I decided to think of the top 5 things that make me smile and focus on those things throughout the year.  So here they are in no particular order:

* Time with Hubby.  To help me become more inspired I have enlisted the help of the Dating Divas (who knew?).  Definitely going to kick up the heat in 2013!

 

*Reading.  I already read just about anything I can but I want to be more intentional about what I am reading. Mix in a little good literature with my "easy reading".  Amy Clark from the Blog "The Motherload" usually has some great recommendations.  Here is her top list from 2012.

 

*Working Out.  OK - let's be real.  The actually physical exertion of working out does not make me smile.  Even the thought of the planned exercise just completely bums me out. But here is what does make me feel so good, the second I get done.  Knowing that I was able to squeeze in 30 minutes of physical activity is too cool.  So 2013 - maybe a 5K?  Maybe.

 

*Everyday life with Girls.  My favorite times with the girls are when we are just randomly together.  Maybe reading in the same room or doing our hair.  When there is nothing planned and we can just be.  I am going to try really hard to stop what I am doing and LISTEN to them, ASK questions and TALK.  They seem to really love it too. 

 

*Creating.  If I am making something I am happy.  The list is long.  What will be first?

 

So that should do it.  I am ready for 2013.  Are you?

 

When you stay home...

You take your "job" seriously.  You put in a lot of thought in simple things like how the clothes are put away and where the backpacks are hung up.  You know which bathroom is running low on toilet paper and what mirrors haven't been windexed in a while.  You pass the same small little toy stuck between the couch and the wall every time you vacuum - but you just let it lie.  Because only you know. 

Sometimes it feels good.  What difference does it make that you forgot towels were in the washing machine (again.)?  You do the laundry and you can just rerun them.  Yes, maybe it's been a full month and that beef stew is still in the back of the fridge.  But, then again, YOU clean out the fridge.  So it can wait until tomorrow.  It is a little bit of power and control in our little piece of the world that only someone who stayed home would know. 

So when you stay home it's nice to have someone notice.  It feels good when you have made a conscious effort to change out all the soaps to the holiday-theme scent and someone mentions they like it. 

Nothing is better then being asked where the long blue socks are and you can rattle off the location without even thinking.  A "Your the best" mom, makes it worth it. 

You hope they all get that you care about making it nice... for them.

So your husband bringing you a rose fresh cut from the garden when your have the stomach flu makes your day.  Because it is you, who usually does the little things, when you stay home. 

And to think that they just might know, that it matters...

At least to you.

First week of School

If you read my last post you would know I left off waiting for the bus...

Well, it came and dropped off Audrey at the corner I was NOT at... then it proceeded to drive by me with Carissa still on it! Apparently I was standing at the wrong corner AND they won't let your Kinder off the bus unless you are standing there. Justin ended up chasing the bus down and the rest of our week kind of went down hill from there.

The kids came home famished and tired everyday. I tried a new techinque everyday to help ease the transistion but nothing seemed to work. We ended everynight with someone in tears (Audrey or Me) and started every morning with more and more anxiety (Carissa and Me).

Did I mention I had bloodwork on Wednesday and fainted and Justin and I aren't drinking this week? (Who's idea was that?)

By Friday morning I probably had the whole week written on my face and Carissa could feel it. She announced right away that she didn't want to go to school and I just couldn't find it in me to be upbeat anymore. We both ended up crying in the school hallway. UGH!

Thankfully my neighbors walked by and one of them (a sweet angle from God) convinced Carissa to go back into the class and then they told me to go home. Good advice. I was a wreck.

To end the week Audrey was stung by a scorpion. Really? Yes. Here is my advice. Put the number to Posion Control in your phone. You never know when you will need it. She is fine her foot just remains asleep.

My one glass of wine Friday night did me in and I was so thankful for it. Sometimes it is best to just curl up and go to sleep. Carissa asked me this morning if Saturdays are like "Pretend Summers?"

Uhh no, we call this a Weekend - but don't worry - they are just as fun. Phew TGIS.

Too much social media!!

Wow - I am really lagging on this blog posting thing!! The truth is I just can't keep up. Between Facebook and texting and blogging I just can't choose. There are pictures on my camera phone and pictures on my camera. I can post a picture here but can't get if off there. Too many updates and status changes and posts. There is digital scrapbooking vs blogging and it is just getting to be too much!!

I want to do what will matter most. I want to preserve memories but not be so caught up in tracking the memories I am not making any. The girls just had a Dance Recital and they did excellent. Audrey was in a Hip Hop number and she was straight gangsta' the whole day. Carissa did a tap routine to the Pinocchio song "Got No Strings".

The minute my child started to dance I attempted to film. Ha! Who can do that? I gave up in about 3 seconds because I was missing it!! I opted for the live show once instead of the playback forever.

Maybe I will look back in fifteen years and wish I did a better job of documenting each moment. **I really do want to tell them the whole story and not miss a detail.** But I am realizing I can only do so much. Some events will just have to be left up to the storytellers memory...

Goals

I was asked the other day what my goals are for 2011. Hmmm... all that came to mind was to make sure we had milk for cereal in the morning and to switch the laundry before I went to bed. So much of my life, up until lately, has been about achieving goals.

It starts right when you are born with eating, crawling, walking, talking. Then there is grade school where the world just opens up and everyday life brings a new challenge, a new goal. All those sight words turn into sentences and counting to 30 turns into adding up your allowance.

Dare we forget the teenage years? The goals seem to lean on the emotional side like getting the cutest boy ever to notice you - so goal-worthy! How about making the team, joining a club, getting a part-time job, feeling accepted, saying No. Always moving forward (sometime scared) but wanting to see what tomorrow holds.

My 20's couldn't have been more goal-driven. There was graduating from college, internships, becoming self-sufficient, buying a car, buying a house...All tangible, all foreseeable, all met.

Then I feel in love and my goals become our goals. "Our Plan" was what we loved to call it. We would dream it and re-dream it and everytime we did it was new and exciting. We worked hard to make it all come true, too. Our family and our home is more than "Our Plans" ever could have imagined.

My day now consists of tons of small tasks, little immediate goals like getting through the grocery store without anyone whining, making it a whole week on one tank of gas, cooking healthy meals and limiting screen time to 1 hour a day. All simple things that I know add up to one big necessary purpose. To raise two beautiful, caring, intelligent girls.

So I asked myself - is that my goal?

Have I climbed through all those years of achievements and now I am here? Standing on top of my 33 years I look behind and I can see far. I cringe at some of the images and laugh with sheer joy at others. But when I look the other way, when I look ahead, I just see them.

Standing in front of me.

My future milestones are only but significant markings in their lives. Kindergarten, Graduations, Birthdays, friendships, dances, weddings.

What would it be like to have another big goal? What would it even be? Why did I stop making goals? I should get a goal.

Chocolate = Love

As I am writing this I am licking the melted chocolate on my finger. I know, disgusting. What is wrong with me? Every since Monday when our home had a Valentine's Chocolate invasion by way of my sweet husband and the Girl Scout delivering 7 boxes (yikes- what was I thinking?) of cookies, I have been scooping up anything brown and putting it in my mouth.

It is justified, I think, because it was gift. A gift of love. Chocolate just IS love. And I think it might be true... it can be better then... any who...

Speaking of love. Remember when Justin made the bunk bed for Audrey's doll? Well it wouldn't fit in our Pod when we moved back to AZ so Daddy and I have been living with large amounts of guilt. Now that guilt has been set free because we have made two more beds. Ahhh...

And not just beds. Beds with an attached desk.

Guess who had the most fun? (Once a girl, always a girl!)

We have been taking advantage of the great weather. Basking in the sun and just being together. It feels good (and it's even better with a Thin Mint ;)


Oh and I have been meaning to write the latest. Carissa told me she is not afraid of anything. Not even the common house cat.

Now that is a relief!

January

Looking out my window this crisp January morning I am reminded, once again, that all things can be new. I know it is never to late to make something better or to try again. This January I allowed myself to be so busy planning for tomorrow that I forgot to enjoy today. I have been worrying about time and how fast things happen and the what if's. At times I think I forgot to smile or to stop and laugh.

I was reading through my journal and almost laughed at loud. My prayers from long ago seem to be the same ones I still pray today. Have I not learned anything? Am I so much like my kids who I constantly nag? Is God always having to "remind me?"

I think I know how he feels.

Well, today I am going to accept that just as the leaves have fallen off the trees there are new ones growing in. Time will continue to go on and there is nothing I can do to stop it.

But I can be in the day. I can stop missing what is going on right in front of me. I can relish in the joy of the moment ~ without being reminded!!

A Season of Family

This holiday season was filled with so much family. Our lives are abundantly filled with people who love and care for us. We don't want each other to fail, to feel pain, or to need. We love to make each other laugh and push until there is progress. I am beginning to understand that Family is a miracle in and of itself - I am blessed to be able to witness it.

Christmas Tree 2010

We got our Christmas stuff out and Carissa got in...

Everybody must have touched each ornament 10 times and asked "where did we get this one?" I think that is just a Mom's job to know those things. It is too bad I have early onset Alzheimer's and can't remember half of them. On the plus side my OCD was turned way down because I resisted the urge to have everyone back away so I could decorate alone. The memories of trimming the tree should be sweet ones, right?

I think it turned out lovely...

In the spirit of the season our family is donating some items Monday night to local families in need. I have been bugging the girls about it a lot and having them think of things they don't use anymore and want to give. Today I was completly taken off guard.

Audrey asked a question I couldn't answer (and that just might be a first) "Mom, why isn't Santa going to those kid's houses?"

ummmmmm....

That is like asking me why some people get cancer or little kids are abused.

What do you say? So I said what I thought was the best answer and I hope she believed me.

"Santa asked Daddy and I if we wouldn't mind helping him, help these families."

Dang it if I almost believe myself...

Daddy's Birthday

Yikes we are getting up there - 33!! The girls don't miss a chance to remind us that we "lived in the olden days" or that we are getting wrinkles. Even though I still think I have a chance at passing for a young, cool, hip girl they put me right back in my place. Reality check - I am a mom and no matter how bad I don't want to wear "mom" jeans, say those uncool comments, or have that tired worn out look - I know I do. It happened to me. I guess as parents, we have arrived.


It was Justin's birthday yesterday and the girls were so excited. They both picked out gifts for him (CD, boy magazine, and a lantern). We decorated the kitchen and made brownies. They wrapped the gifts and fought over whose present he would open first. Chaos at it's best...


They are so in tuned to what he likes I think it is just a testament to how much they adore him. I remember when they were babies crying in my arms and he would swoop them up and instantly the crying would stop. He would put them up high on his broad shoulders and do that little bounce-pat thing. Ohh, the jealousy would eat me up. But now, just picturing it brings tears to my eyes. Right then and there he was a creating a bond with them and it gets stronger every year.



Here's to being 33 love. Happy Birthday!

9 Years

Remember this? It was out backyard in August when we first started landscaping. (Lesson learned - not good to start a landscaping project during the hottest month of the year.) The ground was hard to work with and I wasn't sure how it would end up. Our goal was to make it feel as lush as possible - you know bring a little Pacific Northwest to the Arizona desert (don't ask to see our water bill!!) I am happy to say we are so pleased with the results. We have our splash pad area which is so great for the kids. I can just ship them outside and I know they won't drown. We hope to build off of the bench a little more and can't wait to see the trees grow and start shading some of the area.

On the other side of the yard are plants and trees, including 3 fruit trees. By next summer I should have so many limes we won't be able to drink enough Corona's...

I also now have these lovely Arizona Roses. A gift from Justin for our 9th anniversary. To me Roses represent how things that look so tough on the outside can turn out to be the most beautiful. I am proud to say that we have been married 9 years. It takes hard work and dedication to keep a loving marriage thriving and I am so happy and grateful to be a wife to my husband.

He makes my heart happy ~ this is the quilt I made him. Our gifts to each other were supposed to cost $9. With a little help from my girlfriend, Goodwill, and a Linen Outlet I was able to do it. Hard to make a manly quilt...

Oh, and just because we finished landscaping doesn't mean we have stopped construction. This is the shed/playhouse/outhouse/man cave/craft shop going in on the side of the house...

Seriously, never a dull moment.

Tension

It is Monday so that might explain it, but I have to admit I am so CRANKY today. It didn't help that I was verbally abused by a 7 year-old this morning. I tried to remain calm during the attack and since I didn't retaliate with physical abuse I think I did really well. Instead, I cleverly selected "grounded to room" as the punishment.

And wouldn't you just know it? The girl came home from school happy as a lark to spend the whole afternoon in her room. DUH, that is so not punishment. She doesn't have to deal with her sister or her mother. She gets complete isolation and it is bliss.

By now, the sky has darkened (finally) and it is raining (Amen). The tension is fading away and I have made a mental note to make the next punishment "wait on mother hand and foot".

Aghh - it is hard to run this ship.

Wish on a Penny

We met my Mom last night for ice cream at West Gate and afterwards the girls stopped and played by the fountains. As is customary with any sort of fountain, you must find a penny and make a wish. I dutifully handed them out. Also, as is customary, you can not tell anyone your wish or it won't come true.

Well, I forced Justin to tell me his. He said he just threw it in and made no wish. *sigh*

I have to be honest, It took me a really long time to think of a wish. Why is that? How come as adults we don't wish anymore? Is it because we are too practical? Do we have everything we want?

My wish ended up being for cooler weather. We broke a record this week with temps at 111 degrees. At 7 o'clock at night, while making my wish, it was probably about 102 degrees outside.

This morning when I woke up the news said it is supposed to be raining with a high of 89. Can you believe that? SEE PEOPLE!! Go and shine your penny!!

Summer Slump

Is it wrong that I have began the countdown to school? 27 more days...

We have officially started our Summer Slump. The birthday parties have ended, swim class is over, library story times aren't exciting, the girls won't play together and I have run out of ideas. Oh and did I mention, 113 degrees outside?

I would say that being a stay-at-home mom is the best job in the world but on days like today it feels like a prison sentence. Relaxed mom was so relaxed that now I have looked up from my summer colored glasses and am starting to see a breakdown of sorts. No one comes to eat when I prepare a meal. No one picks up anything. No one puts their clothes away. No one brushes their teeth. No one thanks me. No one goes to bed on time. No one is even laughing... just bickering. AGHHHH.

So now I must readjust ~ yet again. I must realign our days to gear us back into some semblance of order. I must make it known I am in charge - not Dora.

There is a silver lining. (Isn't there always?) We have been working on our bedroom. We loaded up our carts at IKEA this weekend (love you Smaland!). We nailed and hung and redesigned and now I have a peaceful sanctuary (minus the dirty clothes) for which to unwind.

There are still a few more touches to be added but I love the feeling I get when I enter my room. Because it is mine and although a barbie may slip past the threshold I reserve the right to chuck it right back out :)

Now I must get started on that chore chart...

Top Tooth Gone

Here it is Shel Silverstein style:

I am the tooth puller, the clothes washer, the nail trimmer, the grocery shopper. I'm the meal planner, the clothes mender, the lady who calls the shots. I'm the giver of candy but the taker away. If I you have a bloody nose, I will run the other way. So just look real close and you will see, a woman who never knew what a mother she'd be.

Mom in the Summer

God provides the string so you can make the web.

I have laid out the best plan. I know how to get to every source of cold water in a 20 minute radius. The new swimsuits are bought and we are stocked up on sunscreen. The girls have finally caught up on there sleep and are starting to rise with sun. It is summer here and you can just feel it.


This time I plan to do it right. I am going to stop and play puzzles even if I haven't put my bra on and it's 11:42 am. Sure, you can wash every baby, barbie, and toy you own. Start a craft project with a thousand little beads? Let me make one too. When a friend calls, I will actually sit and talk. In the middle of the day, for no reason, we can go get ice cream.


Why you ask?
Because I said so.

and I am the MOM.

A quick funny...

someone knocked on my front window today thinking it was my front door (which happens to be on the side of my house.)

They quickly realized the mistake BUT not before I saw. I immediatly got that little joy in my gut. You know, the kind of funny you feel when you witness someone do a little trip or walk into a sliding glass door.

It is hard to hide the grin...he he

You know it's a good day when...

Your child is playing so hard she doesn't have a care in the world...
The makings of a wonderful Home Office is in the works...

We successfully completed a project (jazzed up a clipboard) for Teacher Appreciation week...

And fresh Chocoloate Chip Cookies are baked and on hand.

It's days like this I wouldn't want to be anywhere else!

Inspiration

I spend just a "little" of my time with my mouth wide open drooling over some great blogs. I don't know how these people find the time but I love every minute I can absorb some of their great talent. Here are a few of my blog world inspirations that I hope to soon be able to put to good use in my new home (YIPEE!).

• Our Cozy Nest
• 320 Sycamore
• It's the little things that make a house a home (love her Ocean-inspired rooms!!)
• The Idea Room
• Make it and Love it
• Crafterhours (I feel like I know them...)

These are just in addition to the blogs on my side bar. Once I start clicking around I get lost in the land of crafting, decorating, mommies, and dreams. Not a bad place to be.