Five! 5! Five!

CARISSA GRACE IS 5!

Dear Carissa,

When I look at you today I no longer see a baby. I see a little girl who has begun to take shape. You are amazingly beautiful and smart. You have a this wacky sense of humor that can throw a whole crowd for a loop. I know you see so much and feel it deeply. I know you love your family with all of your being. You are content to steal Dad's bible and find a quite corner to read stories about Jesus to your bite but also just as happy to go wherever Audrey has suggested. You are a perfect little sister.

This year I know you will stretch out past your usual limits. You will learn to read and a whole new world will open up for you. You will notice I am missing you and you will fight leaving, even though you kind of really want to go. I will let you... because that is what Mommies do.


In the meantime, I will suck in every last ounce of that baby smell that you sometimes get right when I am putting you to bed. I will let you keep climbing right onto my lap when you stub your toe. I will savor each day of your 5th year.

Happy Birthday ~I Love You, Mom

Talent Show

When Audrey came to me and said she wanted to sing in the talent show, in front of the whole school, without any music, to her made up version of a song... well, I felt like I had to protect her somehow. From what? Now, I am not so sure.

As a Mom I just don't want her to ever feel failure or embarrassment. I don't want her to suffer or have her heart ache. But I realize now that is just silly; that my hardest moments have created a stronger me. So I stopped discouraging her. I let go and let her try out at the audition. When she got the notice that she had made the Talent Show I listened to her sing the song 1,000 different times 1,000 different ways. I took her to buy a cute new shirt and I did her hair in the morning. I watched her little self sit and wait until the second to the last act. And after one whole hour and 15 agonizing minutes she finally performed... and she was beautiful and she was amazing.

Volcano Science Experiment

Making a homemade clay for her volcano...

Being way to silly...

Who said Science was boring??!?

Ingredients :

Warm Water, Dishsoap, Food Coloring, Baking Soda, and Vinegar

Weekend at White Spar

It is easily forgotten but we have a travel trailer that we pay for every month but doesn't get nearly enough use. Last weekend I was bent on making sure we went somewhere in the trailer. Typical of us, we didn't decide where we were going until about 2:30 Friday, so I threw a few things together and convinced Justin we didn't even need to bring the trailer to our house - we had everything we needed... Let's just load up and go...

The girls didn't seem to notice but we forgot TONS! First off we left without any water in our tanks assuming we could get some up in Prescott. After driving around until 9:00 at night (not fun) we gave up and pulled into the last camp spot available with no water. In the dark. Backing in... ugh!
First thing in the morning the girls got right to work building fairy houses. They collected treasurers and climbed and built.

They laughed and dug in the dirt. They found sticks that were magical and rocks with a story.

While I spent Saturday night in the trailer with a sinus infection Audrey braved the cold night air wearing Dad's jacket because I forgot to pack hers. I don't think she noticed as she had made a great new best friend at the campsite right next door.

We woke up to a morning with no spoons for cereal but a visit from the tooth fairy instead. A good S'more will loosen a tooth right up!

We ended the weekend learning that being spontaneous doesn't always equal relaxing and fun. A couple extra minutes to plan out our trip would have probably saved us a few hours of heartache.

Happy to report - the girls noticed nothing and we have made yet another camping memory :)

To the Extreme

April has been a complete month of Extremes. First off, we started off with snow! Not at our house but a short 2 hours away to visit Aunt Sherrie and Uncle David in Bagdad, AZ. The site of snow on cacti should have been my first gentle reminder that God is at work in all things.
A snow creature was built - not quite to the standards of our Washington Sally but we loved her with all we had!

Instead of worrying about having the right shoes, coats, and snow attire the girls dug right in with what we could pull together that morning. I have to say I was so happy with that. Maybe they appreciated the fact that the snow was fleeting and if they didn't take advantage of it - it would soon be gone?

And gone it was!! The following week was in the 90's and spring had officially sprung! Our family (ahem... the adult portion) has a hard time dealing with this transition. We tend to fight the impending heat with all we have. Forgetting that it is larger than us. Forgetting that we still have not been promoted to being in charge.

So I have decided to start taking the lead from little ones. Pushing ahead at full speed. Seeking out what might be hiding in the cracks.

This month I am learning from them. Audrey is trying out for a talent show at school because, "my dream is to sing in front of millions of people!". Her confidence and courage astound me! Carissa has a horrible infection in her foot and has been taking her glue-like medicine like a pro. "It helps if you just plug your nose!". It really just doesn't surprise me anymore that this Easter I have been humbled once again. I have been placed back in front of the cross. And it is a glorious, safe, and peaceful place to be!

Happy Easter!

Goals

I was asked the other day what my goals are for 2011. Hmmm... all that came to mind was to make sure we had milk for cereal in the morning and to switch the laundry before I went to bed. So much of my life, up until lately, has been about achieving goals.

It starts right when you are born with eating, crawling, walking, talking. Then there is grade school where the world just opens up and everyday life brings a new challenge, a new goal. All those sight words turn into sentences and counting to 30 turns into adding up your allowance.

Dare we forget the teenage years? The goals seem to lean on the emotional side like getting the cutest boy ever to notice you - so goal-worthy! How about making the team, joining a club, getting a part-time job, feeling accepted, saying No. Always moving forward (sometime scared) but wanting to see what tomorrow holds.

My 20's couldn't have been more goal-driven. There was graduating from college, internships, becoming self-sufficient, buying a car, buying a house...All tangible, all foreseeable, all met.

Then I feel in love and my goals become our goals. "Our Plan" was what we loved to call it. We would dream it and re-dream it and everytime we did it was new and exciting. We worked hard to make it all come true, too. Our family and our home is more than "Our Plans" ever could have imagined.

My day now consists of tons of small tasks, little immediate goals like getting through the grocery store without anyone whining, making it a whole week on one tank of gas, cooking healthy meals and limiting screen time to 1 hour a day. All simple things that I know add up to one big necessary purpose. To raise two beautiful, caring, intelligent girls.

So I asked myself - is that my goal?

Have I climbed through all those years of achievements and now I am here? Standing on top of my 33 years I look behind and I can see far. I cringe at some of the images and laugh with sheer joy at others. But when I look the other way, when I look ahead, I just see them.

Standing in front of me.

My future milestones are only but significant markings in their lives. Kindergarten, Graduations, Birthdays, friendships, dances, weddings.

What would it be like to have another big goal? What would it even be? Why did I stop making goals? I should get a goal.

Fun Ball

What is it you ask?

It is a giant Fun Ball.

You climb inside and then yell at the top of your lungs for someone to push you. It fits two comfortably.

Or one Dad tightly. Carissa says it's like you are a Human Hamster.

The Fun Ball.