Standing in front of me.
My future milestones are only but significant markings in their lives. Kindergarten, Graduations, Birthdays, friendships, dances, weddings.
What would it be like to have another big goal? What would it even be? Why did I stop making goals? I should get a goal.
Friday, April 8, 2011
I was asked the other day what my goals are for 2011. Hmmm... all that came to mind was to make sure we had milk for cereal in the morning and to switch the laundry before I went to bed. So much of my life, up until lately, has been about achieving goals.
It starts right when you are born with eating, crawling, walking, talking. Then there is grade school where the world just opens up and everyday life brings a new challenge, a new goal. All those sight words turn into sentences and counting to 30 turns into adding up your allowance.
Dare we forget the teenage years? The goals seem to lean on the emotional side like getting the cutest boy ever to notice you - so goal-worthy! How about making the team, joining a club, getting a part-time job, feeling accepted, saying No. Always moving forward (sometime scared) but wanting to see what tomorrow holds.
My 20's couldn't have been more goal-driven. There was graduating from college, internships, becoming self-sufficient, buying a car, buying a house...All tangible, all foreseeable, all met.
Then I feel in love and my goals become our goals. "Our Plan" was what we loved to call it. We would dream it and re-dream it and everytime we did it was new and exciting. We worked hard to make it all come true, too. Our family and our home is more than "Our Plans" ever could have imagined.
My day now consists of tons of small tasks, little immediate goals like getting through the grocery store without anyone whining, making it a whole week on one tank of gas, cooking healthy meals and limiting screen time to 1 hour a day. All simple things that I know add up to one big necessary purpose. To raise two beautiful, caring, intelligent girls.
So I asked myself - is that my goal?
Have I climbed through all those years of achievements and now I am here? Standing on top of my 33 years I look behind and I can see far. I cringe at some of the images and laugh with sheer joy at others. But when I look the other way, when I look ahead, I just see them.